Everyone has those moments when they feel powerless, alone, stressed, anxious, among other things, even if they don’t show it. Unfortunately, I’m in one of those slumps right now, whether it be the product of everything going on in the world or the anxiety that comes with the college application season, or a mix of both. Before I go on, this isn’t a cry for pity or anything of that nature I just wanted to open up about my mental health in hopes that maybe someone else will do the same.
Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve found motivation hard to come by. I felt like there was no real purpose to my life, as I began questioning what I was working so hard for in school. I’ve felt like the only reward I’ve been given for my work during this school year is a few hours of rest and extra sleep. While I’m grateful for these moments, getting excited about learning, or things in general has become a chore. Especially when my life has been cut down to fit into the tight confines of my house and the COVID-19 pandemic. I’m grateful for the good health and well being my family has enjoyed, but sometimes that gets clouded with the desire to be outside with friends or have a sense of normalcy at the very least. I miss interacting with people and being able to go outside without having to worry about possibly infecting others or my family. I miss the type of laughter that hurts your stomach, the moments where you look around and all you can see is joy. This unique piece of the human experience has been taken away from many, and it affects me every day. I’ve also struggled with anxiety and stress more so than usual because the college decision season is almost here. I’m anxious to find out where I’m going to spend the next four years of my life and if that place is really suited for me. I’m also afraid of what might happen if the worst-case scenario becomes reality.
But, I understand how fortunate my family and I are to be blessed with the situation we are in because, to be frank, millions around the world are suffering much more than I am. This thought is what keeps me grounded, and times like now remind me more than ever to be thankful for every moment of peace that I’m granted. I urge you all to try and do the same and find the little things in your life that you’re truly thankful for. Hopefully, these pieces of your life can help you as much as they have helped me. So as I continue to work through this down moment, I’ll leave you all with this quote:
“Our human compassion binds us the one to the other – not in pity or patronizingly, but as human beings who have learned how to turn our common suffering into hope for the future.” – Nelson Mandela